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Cold water over the Highland Show By Neale McQuistin for Friday’s Standard July 2nd 2010.
Well, there goes another Royal Highland Show. The big story at the Highland this year, down in the stock lines, was a welfare issue. Those of you that weren’t at the show and probably most of the directors of the show will be surprised to learn that it is not, the much publicised, welfare issue concerning the length of the tails on the sheep that most threatens the future of the show. If some exhibitors seem to be incapable of docking the tails of their sheep to the correct length then they must be prepared to accept that there will be consequences. Unfortunately the actions of this minority will only hasten the day when EU legislation will mean that none of us will be allowed to dock the tails of our sheep at all. No, it’s a different kind of a tale that is causing the welfare issue that most threatens the show. These are the tales that the exhibitors get told on an annual basis by the directors of the society during the show. There are many different kinds of these tales but here’s an example of a big long tale. It will usually be swished to and fro with a stern and somewhat serious look on the individuals face and it will go something like this. “Yes I hear what you are saying and I quite agree with you that the showers for the stockmen and women are a disgrace. It’s just not good enough. I will bring your complaint up before the next full meeting of the directors immediately after the show and by everything that is holy and with the last breathe in my body I will see to it personally that this outrageous situation will never be allowed to happen again.” The type of director that have these big long tales are usually fairly easy to spot as they will usually have more bright and shiny harnesses draped round their shoulders than most of the Clydesdale stallions that parade around the main ring. Then there are the wee short fat tales. The directors that have wee short fat tales are usually neither short nor fat themselves, in fact, they will usually have a lean and hungry look about them. Lacking the same amount of regalia as the big long-tale directors they will normally whip round and unfurl something like “Aye right, I’ll see whit a can dae” and then they will scamper off to find a grown up before forgetting what it was that they were going to tell them. Both, the short tale variety and the long tale variety of director have been proven to be equally ineffective over the years as far as getting anything done but the short tale types have a certain cuteness about them that makes you want to give them a colouring in book or something like that to keep them occupied throughout the whole day. So as the applause dies down and after they have taken their final bow I hope that the directors will spare a thought for those that really make the highland show a success. Ignore the welfare of your livestock exhibitors at your peril. Stop telling us tales and show us that you are capable of acting on the concerns that are brought to you. Filthy and cold showers and some sheep pens that are too small for the animals that have to stay in them are annually recurring problems. Show a bit of respect, get your fingers out and sort the job before the Highland goes the same way as The Royal.
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